Squidward's Birthday
by zxcraous
Summary: In this story, Squidward's birthday has finally come. But why is Spongebob being weirder than normal? Yes, this story is complete.


_Today, I will be on top of the world. My birthday has finally come. Everyone will bow down to me, and they will do my bidding! Hopefully I will make it through work first. Maybe, just maybe, Spongebob will be normal, just for the day! _I thought.

The ocean was extra serene today. Spongebob wasn't being his usual crazy self, just yet. _Honk, honk, honk._ Well, I spoke too soon.

"Don't worry about it, Squidward, just enjoy your morning while you still can," I said.

I showered quickly and put on my favorite shirt with the pretty brown tone. As a treat, I drank some coffee with a fresh crepe right from the bakery. To avoid the yellow dunce, I actually headed out to work extra early. What a mistake that was. As soon as I stepped outside, Spongebob was _right there_.

"Happy Birthday, Squiddy!" he cheered.

"Umm, thanks. Try to be a little less _yourself_ today, so I can enjoy."

"Anything for you, Squidward!"

_Perfect. Let's just hope he keeps it up._

After a walk filled with Spongebob's incessant chatter, the Krusty Krab stood tall and—unfortunately—blocked out the rising sun.

"Good morning, Mr. Krabs," I said happily.

"You're in a good mood. What for?"

"Today's my birthday, which you should know, being my _employer_ and all."

"Oh yes, how _silly_ of me to forget!"

After standing there awkwardly for a second, I cleared my throat.

"Okay, what do you want, Mr. Squidward?"

"You know what."

"All right, fine. You can leave work at four."

I jumped up and down excitedly.

Spongebob was upset by this, thinking he was my "best friend" and all. He wouldn't know what to do without me. That just made me even more ecstatic.

"Gee, Squidward, you are going to have a quick work day!" he attempted to sound happy in front of me.

"I sure am!"

Luckily, there were no morning customers. What I did have to fear, though, was the upcoming lunch hour. The Krusty Krab would become a mad house in minutes!

"Hey Squidward, what are you going to do when you get home?" Spongebob asked later on.

"Relax, of course, while you _enjoy_ the rest of your time here."

"Okay. Good to know," he giggled suspiciously.

Oh no, he had something up his sleeve. I decided to disregard it for the rest of my shift. Without noticing it, the clock struck twelve. As though it were staged, boat loads of customers piled into the grease trap simultaneously. Quickly, I sent back orders and the customers received their food almost instantly.

"You two can eat while they do," Mr. Krabs spoke from his office door.

_Perfect, I'll go out really quick to get some nice hot lunch,_ I planned. Then, I left the Krusty Krab and went into town. A very decent little eatery came into view and I went inside.

"Yes, may I help you?" a clerk asked.

"Can I get a ravioli package with lemonade that has an even amount of seeds?"

"Certainly."

Before I knew it, I was back at the Krusty Krab with my order. The food was amazing and the lemonade was heavenly (if it had had an odd number of seeds, I would have been infected by the contaminated lemons).

"Back to work, you two!"

What perfect timing. The rest of the hour was a drag, and then Spongebob was being scary again.

"So, you like raviolis and lemonade with an odd number of seeds? _Interesting_!" he said.

"You knew the thing about the lemonade, from all that time ago. Yes, raviolis are good," I was sweating so much I could've caused a flood.

What was this guy up to? _Murder?_ I turned pale at the thought. Since I felt faint, I slumped down in my boat. Thankfully, that normal Spongebob came back.

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay, Squidward?"

"You were scaring me. What's up with you today?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I admit that I had something planned for you when you came home. I'm so sorry!" his eyes welled up with tears.

"Aha! It's fine; just _do not_ do that ever again."

How could I stop his plans? Stay at work the whole time? Interrogate people? You know what, I like the last one. I'll interrogate the source. Spongebob will be _easy_ to interrogate!

"No, no! Don't use the feather, I'll talk!"

See what I mean?

"What are your plans?"

"I was going to have people surprise you by throwing a party at your house!"

I stopped. Wow, this sponge was _so nice_ to me. Should I really stop him?

"That's sweet, but you know I _hate_ that kind of stuff."

"You owe me, Squidward. That feather could have made me laugh _really loudly_! Or it could make me laugh forever!"

Wow, was that his best defense? Was that even _considered_ defense?

"Fine. _Never _do this again, and you won't have to worry about _laughing really loudly_."

I entered my house and it was filled with people. How did he get them to all come for _my_ birthday? Then I figured it out when I located a sign that read, "Free snacks if you party with Squidward!" Oh well, he went to a lot of trouble decorating my house (wait, how did he get inside…?). Turns out he had a present for me when he arrived after his shift!

"For you, Squidward!"

I ripped the wrapping paper off. It was a book of clarinet sheet music!

"Thank you, Spongebob. You're always so nice when I act like a jerk—"

He put a hand to my mouth. Shutting up would do me good, anyways. I gave up being the jerk I was for the night and shouted, "LET'S PARTY!"


End file.
